About

Hi, I’m Jenna Reid, Certified Divorce Coach®.

When talking about my line of work, I get asked two questions all the time.

Q1. How is coaching different than therapy?

Like psychology & social work, the field of coaching is very broad, which can be confusing. Relationship and divorce coaching to me, are a focus on the future, on evolving, and manifesting potential. Coaching is solution oriented – we focus on making changes and reaching goals that really matter to the client.

As a certified coach and trained therapist, I am acutely aware that the difference between therapy and seeing a coach is quite stark. Therapy focuses on the “why”, on the past, and the history that created who you are. A coach instead guides you towards new behavior patterns and reframes ways of thinking. Like a paper boat floating down a creek, we follow the stream forward. Sometimes bumping into rocks, just for a second before pushing ahead.

The coaching method I use is called Co-Active Coaching, it begins by holding the coachee as naturally creative, resourceful and whole, and completely capable of finding their own answers to whatever challenges they face. The job of a Co-Active Coach® is to ask powerful questions, listen and empower to elicit the skills and creativity a client already possesses, rather than instruct or advise.

Q2: How did you end up becoming a divorce coach?

I know what it’s like to be in an unhappy marriage, waiting for what seems like the right time or the guilt to subside. I know what it’s like to look your kids in their eyes and tell them their life is about to change in a big way. I know what it’s like to choose you for a change, demand your life back. I know what it’s like to cry yourself to sleep at night with your spouse sleeping next to you, as well as in an empty bed alone in a quiet house. I know what it’s like to wonder that if this is the right choice, why does it feel so lonely?

Divorcing parents don’t have the luxury of walking out of each other’s lives and never looking back. You are forced to stay intertwined and get a front seat to the moving-on-show. I knew I would need to figure out how to communicate better with my ex because this would be essential to our kids happiness and I am lucky that I had a partner who believed that staying civil was most important. We both worked hard to stay true to that course. It wasn’t easy. Emotions can get the best of you and just when you think you’ve got it handled, the road takes a sudden jolt to the right and you are left in a tailspin.

I brought up divorce to my husband on two occasions, both after he had been on a long trip and I had realized how much more I enjoyed life without his presence. During these trips we had very little communication. I felt like he had checked the wife and father box and then moved on with his life. I felt let down that he wasn’t the father & partner I expected and our family needed. I was exhausted from being a full time mom and professional. I thought it would be so much better if I left, so I did.

After telling the kids, I moved into a small apartment because that’s all I could afford. Once I left I felt this huge weight lifted off of me. Like I didn’t have to make him the person I needed anymore, pressure off. We worked hard to be the best co parents we could be and we were. We communicated often. Conversations to coordinate the kids’ lives and activities, spilled over in personal topics. In the beginning we were able to keep the anger and resentment out. We spent time and holidays together as a family.

We decided on custody, child support, allocation of assets and debt without speaking to any professionals. We hired an inexpensive mediator who simply put into writing what we had decided. When I started looking for a home to buy, I realized that I couldn’t afford anything in the area. I realized that the deal I had made was going to leave me in an unfair disadvantage. Guilt and desperation to escape led me to make an unbalanced compromise that was going to put me back several years and him ahead.

Instead of bottling up my feelings, I began to unload them. It turns out, being vulnerable in that moment and spilling out my uncensored raw emotions was what our relationship needed. Buttoning up how you feel is unhealthy for the person and any relationship. The anger slowly lifted and space opened for the positive emotions to move in. I felt kindness, respect, admiration, compassion, and love. We began slowly dating each other again while seeing a couple’s therapist and have now recommitted to our marriage.

The divorce process has a lot of potholes, and no one should have to navigate it alone. It’s important to become educated about your options and to have a strong support system. I’d be honored to be a part of yours.